Question by antinioa: I love my wife, I hurt my wife, I need my wife, I miss my wife, when does the this all go away?
Hello, one year ago I married the prettiest lady in the county. I met her at a local church. At that time I was in a drug and alcohol treatment center. After my wife found out that I was in treatment she accepted me with open arms. She stated to me that my recovery is her recovery as well. going into the relationship I bagan to use again. My wife found out and thats when things started getting bad in our relationship. My wife supported me through this ordeal of relapsing, and she even started going to meetings with me. I did not show any appreciation for her standing behind me. I began to become verbally abusive to her and her kids. I had the ambition to start a lawn business and she supported me with that. She financed me two trucks in which I still drive, She open up credit cards in which I abused. she also emptied her retirement because of me. On one day four months ago, I came home intoxicated, and high, I hit my wife that night and went to jail. she took out a temporary restraing order out on me. that night was my bottom and I admitted myself back into rehab. Even after taking out the restraining order she still allowed me to come over to spend time with the kids.I took advantage of that and became more selfish and controlling. I would call her a hundred times a day, texting her constantly, never taking no for an answer. She finally told me that she needs her space and time to heal. I did not understand that, realizing that I am currently in recovery and I need time to heal myself. My wife is very pretty, smart, intelligent, loving, and most of all she is a true christian lady. she has a 15 year old daughter and son that is going to be 10 in about a week. I love those kids like they were mine. I would express to them the importance of their education, I talked to them about life issues like a real father would. I spent alot of quality time with them, taking them out on fridays and doing the things they desired to do. I love those kids and I miss them. My wife has been out of a job for almost 31/2 months, the only income she is receiving is unemployment. I have been helping her as much as I can, but I lost my job, now I can’nt help her like I was. We both go to the same church, but she told the officials that she has a temporary restraining order and that we should be attendig different services. now she has totally shut me out of her life. she don’nt answer my calls, she don’nt call me, she may e-mail me if it something importat or she is mad. She is very bitter towards me and I have become afraid of her. she still allows me to drive the two vehicles thats in her name and I still have a few of my things in the house. Today, I am doing good in recovery, I am deeply involved in the church, and I am growing in the word of god every day. I am doing it for me now.These are the questions I need help with, she is not telling me anything like she wants a divorce or what our future will be like, when wiill she talk to me again,? I am giving her space and time to heal, when do I know when to contact her? I Got a part time job this week, do I tell her? What do I do now? I have acknowledge my wrongs and I take full responsibility for what I did. I love her and she is the lady I want to be with for the rest of my life. No one knows how I feel besides God. I truly love her. I just want us to live a joyous and happy spirutual life now. And I want to rebuild what I tore down of hers. She is currently atending co-dependency classes and various other groups. When do i ask her will she attend marriage counseling with me after I finish with my individual counseling? At what point do I give up and file for divorce? Or do I just hang in there? Please help me, i need and want my family back.    Read more...